MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!
may your christmas and new year be filled with love and joy…
>>>i’ll be going on vacation starting tomorrow then probably i would be back on january 5…..<<<
all people are social by nature. as the saying goes: “No man is an island”. we have this little circle of people that we call friends. we meet them, get to know them, accept them as they are and we form an invisible bond of togetherness. when we were a lot younger (like 5-9 years old) we hardly make a permanent bond with other kids our age because young kids care for play than who they are with. then we grow up. we start to understand thing, we discover our social being and we begin to associate ourselves with people whom we have common grounds with. then we start calling them friends…and by the time we reached graduation (elementary) we are swearing things like the cliche: “LET”S BE FRIENDS FOREVER”; “I’LL BE YOUR BESTFRIEND FOREVER”…i guess when we say such things we really mean them at that moment we are actually saying them…but things change, time passes like a blur…
like in my case, i have formed friendship with few people back in my elementary years and i could truly say that what we had was a true-blue friendship, however, after graduation my mother decided that i should go to a private school, actually a co-ed Catholic School, so eventually we separated with the promise of being friends forever. i remembered my first day in high school, i was so lost because everyone seem to know everyone else, i almost hated my mother for enrolling me at that school. i have to start from scratch again which is so difficult because i am very shy. it took me a while to be friends with anyone and my first friend was my seat mate. her name is Jade. we became so close that i actually considered her as my bestfriend. and through her, i was able to rebuild my social circle. i began to enjoy my highschool, i began to like the teachers and of course i became proud of my school…then i forgot about my old friends…well, not really, it was hard to be with them anymore, we don’t see each other anymore, we can’t really communicate because back then there was no cell phones yet and to top it off, we transferred residence. i was alienated from my own circle that i began to find another one…i was sad that we parted but then i got caught up with a lot of new things in highschool that i pushed the sadness away and eventually, i felt like they lost the space i have reserved for them.
gradually, my new friends grew…they liked me, the accepted me and they treat me good. i had fun in highschool, i tried all the things that i can except of course drugs. the first time i drank alcohol was when i was in my junior year, i was so wasted i kept on talking. and of course there were other things that a teenager like me and my friends do…when i turned senior, i was still the happy-go-lucky person that i am but i am beginning to think about college and i was secretly scared of going alone to a whole new different world…and when graduation came, my social circle have come crashing down again. we were going in different directions and even my bestfriend has to go away. i was so damn sad that i actually cried…during graduation rites, we were all crying because we really have to separate…and so with the promise of “FRIENDS FOREVER” and keeping in touch— we parted…
college came, there were a lot of new people…different people…i stayed in the dorm with a close friend and again i started to rebuild my social circle. it wa not as hard way back in high school, in fact i found it easy to connect with these new people…my circle was formed quite easily…by the end of my freshman year in college, i have learned that there will be shuffling of sections every year(we have block sectioning)…again my circle was crushed. as easy as it was formed, it was broken by just a snap…gradually, i accepted the fact of forming another circle every year until my last year in college. but there were of course those who stayed…
and now i realized the difference between your friends when you’re young, your highschool friends and your college friends.
when you were young, your friends and you were bonded because of certain activities…
your highschool friends and you are bonded because of the fun you share when you were together…
your college friends and you are bonded intellectually, you have more common grounds to start from. you have this new found maturity to share with…
and then i realized that the friends i had way, way back seem like a dream now…it’s as if we never even met…i miss them…but i have change…i’m afraid that if we see each other we might not be able to say a word to each other. we have different interests now and we don’t think like we used to…the promise of “FRIENDS FOREVER” seemed broken already…
i have been wanting to read “Things Fall Apart” by Chinua Achebe for so long, but it’s either i don’t have time or i’m tired to read. but after the board exam i have been taking a break from my favorite past time which is reading, so after two weeks of doing nothing, yesterday, i was able to read (FINALLY) the book. i was kind of amazed of myself because i finished reading the entire book for about five hours. maybe i was so book-hungry that i pratically devoured the book. it was an interesting story. it talks about human weaknesses, changes, father-sons and father-daughters relationship, husband-wife relationship, kinship…etc…basically the book touches a wide array of topics but the topic which has the most profound impact on me was CHANGE….
nothing in this world is permanent. the world changes everyday. i am changing and so is everybody else…
now back to the book, the main character is Okonkwo and the setting is in Nigeria. it talks about the evangelization of the pagan tribespeople, how the foreigners divide and conquer them.
DIVIDE and CONQUER…that’s how these foreigners take advantage of the people. even the closest of kin can be broken with a snap…even sons and daughters defy their parents…we’ve heard of stories of the great Romans who conquered Europe and how Genghis Khan took China…and other stories of war…they simply divide the people and poof!!! they took over…
sad but true…. =(
the Filipino tradition 9 mornings has started last december 16. it’s actually called “dawn mass”; “misa de gallo”; “aguinaldo mass”…anyhow, it’s a tradition for several hundred years already…it’s when people gather together to celebrate mass every dawn and that will be for 9 consecutive days until december 24…as they say if you’re able to complete the nine masses, you can wish and the wish will come true….
hmmnn…interesting isn’t it?
i’m mad, so mad. according to a friend, it was written in the local newspaper that the NLE result will be released mid-January of next year. can you believe that?! i was like, WHAT??!! what do these people think? they are jeopardizing our future which sucks. i can’t find a job yet because i’m still underboard…i want to work in the hospital but these people namely PRC and BON seem to disagree with my plan of working in the hospital. might as well change a career path…next year, as i have decided i will apply as an English tutor for Koreans and Japanese. i like teaching, so i think that job would suit me, i have a background on tutoring also because i used to tutor young kids when i was still in high school. anyway, i have thought this over and it seemed logical. i have told my mother about this and she simply said : “okay, whatever suits you”…see, my mom is the ultimate mom. she just lets me decide for myself and never questions me…i think being a tutor is the best possible choice as of this moment…and it’s not really a bad job…right???
i was star gazing last night and i saw three falling stars.i immediately wished. it’s funny how we believe that wishes do come true when you wish upon a star. just like the song…well, it’s a harmless belief anyway so it does not matter if you believe or not….
last night also, i watched ROBOCOP 1, my goodness, i was like 5 or 6 years old when i saw that movie, i was kind of laughing while i was watching because i realized I AM OLD. that movie was a true classic for me, i remember loving it as a child, you know with all these effects and robot scenes…when you’re a lot younger you’re easily impressed but when you become older you’re different (obviously) you do not simply believe on things that do not exist. ..that’s why i miss being a child. where everything was simple, where you do not have problems and the only heroes you know are your parents…
i wish i could be a child once more…=)
i have a friend who insisted that life is an illusion. we even had a debate about it. i don’t know why he thinks that way but last night i remembered our little argument and i realized that perhaps he was disappointed in life to the point of thinking it as a distorted reality….and somehow now, i seem to have gotten his point. maybe nothing in this world is real…that we all think that we are all real…but come to think about it, we are all ethereal. we live then we die. maybe this is the illusion that he was talking about. when you reminisce, have you ever had that feeling that what happened yesterday seem so unreal? maybe i misunderstood him…maybe he was right after all.
after the board exam last dec. 1 & 2, we were told that results would come out on dec. 17th but unfortunately there were just so many rumors going on that i am becoming paranoid. on dec.6, a friend sent an sms saying that the results would be released on friday (dec. 8). i was so nervous that time and when friday finally came, i had palpitations and my hands were shaking while i was opening www.prc.gov.ph the feeling was so bad then when i finally opened the page and saw none of the results i don’t know if i should be relieved or disappointed. i have said this to my friend joanne that if the results were indeed coming out that day that it’s okay at least “IF” my name is not in the list of passers i could have an ample time getting over my failure before Christmas. but then, there was no result…
last night, i was watching TV when nikki called me saying that the results would be “again” coming out today. i said to her that we should not believe such rumors, we will only believe if we really see it, but nikki was so damn anxious that she wanted me to check it out, so being the friend that i am, i patiently waited until 12 midnight to actually check if the results are ready. but again it is just rumor…
i hate it when friends send sms saying the results are already released…
i even had a dream about it just this morning. according to my dream : I FAILED…whatever will be the outcome i already prepared myself. THY WILL BE DONE.
>>>p.s.<<< sorry i’ve mentioned the word “RESULTS” several times…
after finishing a 1000 pieces puzzle last saturday evening i have nothing left to do every night. the very reason why i bought that puzzle in the first place was to occupy my mind as well as to pass the time. nikki and i had a bet that if i could not finish it in five days i would treat her to a movie, but fortunately i finished it on the fourth day….now, since i’m already done…i’m becoming so bored…
last night i decided to re-read “Veronika decides to die” by Paulo Coelho. i could really relate to Veronika…sometimes it’s better to be stagnant but safe…there was this question in the book asked by Veronika, she said “what do you mean by crazy?”
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY CRAZY???
hhmmmn….lots to think about now…
gotta go…bye.
hmmn…i’m thinking a lot lately. after the board exams i’m waiting for the results…
it seems that i don’t know what to do…
i don’t know what i want…
do i lack passion in what i do? perhaps…
maybe i’m just so tied up with the responsibility of finishing the things that i have started doing. maybe i don’t like the things that i’m doing but i have to do it anyway…
i want to find meaning and purpose in what i do. am i chasing the wrong things? perhaps…
