friends

i went to motet’s dorm to hang out, then carissa texted and asked us to come over at kring’s dorm. so we ended up talking for like 3 hours. we never had that kind of talk. It was serious and well, very intimate…then we met pre at Patil’s.

————————————— 

 i love my high school friends, we’ve been friends like 10 years already and i’m happy that through all these years we can still manage to see each other. despite hectic schedules and different interest.

bad girl

i am bad today. here’s why:

1.) i went to my review class but during coffee break i went home cause i’m so bored and

2.) i told some white lies to my friend.

and so, here i am, feeling guilty…but i don’t regret, i just felt bad that i’ve done something bad. =(

an open letter

 Father,

i want to say that i forgive you but i’m having some second thoughts about it.

maybe next month or when i can finally come in terms with myself that i have truly forgiven you. i can’t exactly give you fixed dates. i still need to forgive myself too, for hating you. so, this decision is not as easy as it seem.

you’re still bound to make the same mistakes. but i’m almost taking my chances. since you are already a hopeless case i might as well get over with this annoying fact right?

so, hang in there…i’m in the process of forgiving you and healing myself from these emotional scars. it’s still visible though and i can feel it sting a bit. but i’m willing to compromise. i hope we can meet half-way.

Your Daughter

happy

these past days were truly peaceful to me and i’m happy that despite my calmness i was able to write several poems…in the past i always write whenever i’m depressed but hey, recently i’m quite surprised with myself. yesterday, i wrote “breakups only happen in the rain” which i dedicate to a friend of mine, Lovely…and today’s poem, i dedicate to myself…for being in a calm mood and for being sober in sadness…things are definitely going okay. well, since i decided to have a major inner self make-over, i’m trying my best to stick to what i promised to myself.anyhow, here’s the poem:

sober

drowning in tears
drunk with sorrow

she carefully observes…

staring at the ceiling
figuring things out.

she tossed and turned in bed…

smiles are superficial
even frowning looks fake

she faced the world…

then from the uninviting trance
she snapped out.

for a while peace overtook her.

drama

for some odd reason i love this line:

breakups only happen in the rain

the line has some kind of drama attach to it like some bittersweet memories…

haircut and classes

when i went to the review center today i met a classmate. she said we don’t have class today. so i was like : “what?!” ugh. to be sure i went to the classroom and there i saw, posted on the wall: no class. my stupidity gets the better of me. well…i decided to cut my hair, i don’t like my hair for several months already. it got dry and kind of frizzy. so, since there was no class and i’m dying to have my hair cut…i decided it’s time for my hair to let go.

and i’m lovin’ my new hair style!!!

————————————–

“now i can rest my worries, and always be sure…”

rantings

i’m kinda passive-aggressive…and right now, i’m pissed with my older brother. so this entry goes out to him:

“i hate self righteous people like you. acting as if you know better. FINE. you are better than us but it doesn’t mean you can impose your opinions on us. SAVE IT. tell that to those who want to hear. i think you’re jealous of us. so, SHUT UP. don’t talk big things when you have not yet proven yourself. i’m hating your egoistical behavior. don’t tell us what to do. you have no right to dictate us. please, don’t complain if i don’t respond to your every whim. i don’t owe you. remember the last time we fought? i told you i won’t be asking for your help, and you said you won’t ask for my help either, well, guess what: how many times have you asked favors from me? you selfish brat. i don’t even complain and yet you have the nerve to whine? i am seriously starting to hate you.”

hah

i’m a regular church goer…though i do not know most of the people who goes to church with me i am certainly familiar with their faces.

well, there were two adorable child that got me distracted from the sermon today. they’re just so freaking cute…argggghhhhhh i want to pinch their cheeks but of course i won’t because their moms might beat the crap out of me.=p

—————————–

i still hate cooking…

—————————–

“happy…it’s so nice to be happy!!!”

random

distraction is the best denial.

and dvd marathon is the best distraction.

i have been procrastinating in my studies. it’s been like 2 days since i studied. i just open my book then not read at all. wahhhhhh!!!! i need to be serious now.

when will my eligibility comes? i’m waiting for it like crazy.

————————

“i am ready…”

mixed

okay, i’m supposed to have realized this at this point of my life.

when you think positively, things do not seem that bad anymore.

i’m learning to appreciate things.and i’m learning to recreate my perspective.
whoa! talk about cognitive modification eh? the point is i just need to be free of
my self-imposed sufferings.

and it’s truly liberating.

i’m proud of myself.

————————

our lecturer says that the sun helps in the regulation of serotonin, now if you’re feeling crappy, go out…bathe in the sun. just don’t forget the sunscreen or else you’ll end end up a toast.

————————

went to prc and got my license today!!! yipee!!!

unexpected: i saw elena (after a month), Jidz (after 7 months) and taptap (after 2 months). wahhh!!! so much hugging!!! too bad i was going to motet’s because i promised her we’d hang out together. but i missed these people. elena was inviting me to watch fantastic 4: the rise of the silver surfer. but i declined because i have prior commitments.

anyway, my mom is still the ultimate source of my stress. i don’t know when she’s gonna snapped out of this disorganzation phase. she worries me A LOT.