Wishful:
Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely.
Being surrounded with people doesn’t mean being happy (either).
I am alone, but not lonely.
I am alone, but I’m happy.
Pain is a like a drug. Addicting. Habit forming. Consuming.
yet somehow, you never develop tolerance. you’ll always end up crying.
as much as we hate to be hurt, to be in pain…
we can’t help but succumb to the calling of tears and sadness.
because being in pain means being able to experience how it is to be alive and breathing.
to remind us that we are real.
happiness is short-lived. pain lingers.
happiness is a conquest. pain is readily available. emotionally and physically.
as much we want to avoid being hurt, it’ll happen anyway.
friends and family, they will in one way or another will cause you despair.
and when we are hurt and in pain, it burns in the memories. it almost last forever.
we forgive but we never forget.
happiness and pain go hand in hand.
we can never be completely happy because we can never let go of the things that make us sad.
why, may i ask?
because it’s difficult to let a habit go.
it’s hard to breakaway from something that makes us real.
the way i view it. happiness is a state of mind where you could not ask for more.
so, can you not ask for more?
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I am so tired. I worked more than 12 hours/day for the last two days. I feel like sleeping for the next two days too…I still have review today…
I am tired. dead tired.
I am confused yet hopeful.
good night.
I’m supposed to be studying my ass off but i’m still oggling my eyes in the pc.
I stayed up late for two straight nights watching ‘Coffe Prince No. 1′. I love Yoon Eun Hye. She’s not the prettiest girl but she always has this nice aura in her that would make you like her.
gaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
i should study now!!! and yeah, our hard drives are infiltrated with viruses. I can’t even log in some of my online accounts. gahhhh!!! ANd the pc was reformatted like a week ago. darn these viruses!!!
And I feel quite better. I’m not yet 100% okay, but wth…I’m recuperating.
weeeeeeee!!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
I should at least sound happy just for the heck of being “happy”.
but anyway, I went to the country side. I met my mother after how many months. We didn’t talk much.
thanks to the people who didn’t forget it’s my birth anniv today.
KOMAPTA!!!
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I can’t log in today in wordpress. Must be the computer acting up again…ggrrr!!!
My birthday is coming up this Sunday.
My wishes:
I want a worry free October (Which is so unlikely, that’s why I am wishing for it).
I want to have a break. From the drama. From you. From everyone else.
I want to forget you. Your name. Your face. Your existence.
I want to disappear forever.
I am still frustrated as ever.
I still hate you.
I still cry even a mere mention of your name. I want to erase you from my mind completely.
You have disappointed me beyond anyone. And for that, I can’t guarantee immediate forgiveness.
And I hate it that I have to hate you.
I am so tired. Physically. And emotionally too.
I have not slept since yesterday until it was 11 AM in the morning today. But darn, at 12 NOON, my frigging brother had to wake me up from my much needed sleep just to ask me if he could borrow my digi cam. Of course, despite my delirious state, I let him borrow it, now when I think about it, I guess, I kinda banged my door at him.
Now I feel bad. Should I be feeling bad? I mean, I was half-asleep the whole time and he was like freaking annoying me.
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I went out for a dinner with friends yesterday. I need to get out. Everything gets stuffy.
I HATE YOU right now.
At this moment, whenever I remember your face, your name…I cry.
I cried myself to sleep last night.
I
hate
you…
so much.
Life is and never was linear. we meet bumps, slow downs and stop signs. heck, we even meet detours that lead us back right where we came from. It’s very frustrating yet as much as we wanted to end all our misery, we can’t help but look forward to better days.
breathing suddenly becomes conscious yet everything else is passing like a blur. i want to disappear indefinitely. but i know i won’t. tomorrow, and the next day after…i would still be here. hoping…trusting…disappointed…
more than a choice it’s really a quest to pursue happiness.
let the quest begin!
sadness go away. tears, please stop falling.
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I cried for one hour last night. When I woke up today, I can’t barely open my eyes. It looks so puffy and so terrible.
